Confession Of An ASAP And Party Pilipinas Hater

Sunday is a torturous day. When twelve o' clock strikes, the variety shows of ABS CBN and GMA 7 befoul the atmosphere of most Filipino households. Aside from the soap operas, ASAP and Party Pilipinas contribute largely to the backward television programming of the local tv networks. The redundancy, the schmaltz, and the showcase of inept performances are testament to the idiocy of this form of entertainment. Perhaps the avid viewers of these shows are bigots. For the sake of seeing their favorite celebrities do other things than act, they are willing to endure contaminating their eyes with the poor quality of these programs.

In a country where people are over fascinated with ear-shattering vocal prowess, it is no wonder that song number of biritan is a constant element of these noontime shows. The further a singer inflicts punishment to her vocal cords, the more mind blowing. The further a singer deprives herself of oxygen, the more fascinating. Regrettably, these generic breed of singers who subject themselves to laryngeal torture have always been regarded as great musical talents. Yet I beg to disagree.

Furthermore, it is just pure evil, when these Sunday variety shows let a great local band play alongside with their most-often-than-not untalented musically clueless hosts, thereby murdering the overall performance. This poignantly lame noontime show tradition dates all the way back to Kuya Germ's GMA Supershow. Makes me wonder who is the wicked brainchild of this pathetic scheme. Perhaps, even Satan himself will sell his soul to the evil mind who perpetuated this evil tradition.

Noticeably, the obvious lip synching and uncoordinated dance movements rampant in ASAP and Party Pilipinas makes me wanna think I'm time warped to some kindergarten juveniles doing their school program. But these are professional tax-paying celebrities performing at their best-- or worst. This shameless display of lackluster talent can be compared to a man-made disaster created for television.

To escape moronic overload and possible mental retardation, I have ceased in watching these shows. The sad part is, there is no denying that there is a wide audience for these noontime shows. An audience that would go into their school girl kilig frenzy every time a matinee idol dance with his two left feet. An audience that would shrieked every time a male heartthrob does a digitally-enhanced prerecorded song number. Call me cruel. Call me brutal. But the constant top-rating performance of these programs just reflect currently what type of society we live in. This article is not to degrade the followers of these shows. This is more of a call for these programs to change, at least for the better.

My Ex Girlfriend And Richard Gutierrez

What was supposed to be a romantic date during the commercially driven event called Valentine's Day became an unforgettable torment in my entire movie watching experience. By my then girlfriend's persuasion, or should I say threat, I was made to watch Let The Love Begin. Beforehand, I already had a bad premonition about the movie because it stars Richard Gutierrez. I wholeheartedly and passionately hate the said celebrity. But before his mother starts coming out at The Buzz to berate me, let me explain myself. I abhor Richard Gutierrez merely for his poor acting ability. Despite having starred in numerous telenovelas and major motion pictures, Richard up to this day has failed to improve on his craft. That is why, it became my personal demon, having stood watching a Richard Gutierrez movie for the whole 90 minute duration.

Before seeing the movie, me and my then girlfriend had an argument. I wanted to see a big budgeted Hollywood action flick. She preferred Let The Love Begin. Much to my chagrin, I gave in. As we entered the moviehouse, maybe due to my overwhelming dismay, I was on the verge of confessing to her that I had faked all my orgasms during our intimate moments in bed.

Let The Love Begin is a movie where I would rather be on the rooftop during a flash flood. As expected, the Richard Gutierrez-Angel Locsin starrer is fueled with bad acting, mediocrity, cinematic cliches, rampant commercialism and a lot of cheese. There is nothing worth raving about the movie except seeing Angel Locsin. Let The Love Begin is simply an ordinary episode from a tv drama that made its way to the big screen to rake millions for its lead stars and its cunning movie producers at the expense of a fanatical audience. Less than 30 minutes of the film had passed, I was already paralyzed with annoyance. Majority came from Richard Gutierrez's retardate acting. Some stemmed from the overused and predictable storyline (rich meets poor - fights first - then fall in love afterwards.) Some was a result of the obnoxious pair of Mark and Jennylyn, the other stars of the movie.

Perhaps due to my undying boredom, I began to observe the people at the venue. The full housed theater was reeking with mush as most of the moviegoers were couples. But at least, I got to see who was having sex with who. There were also groups of friends, possibly either fans of the loveteams or avid Kapuso's. The audience eagerly gush everytime the lead stars were being focused on screen. While Let The Love Begin provoked fits of joy for others, the current situation that I was in became unacceptable.

An hour of the film had gone and I was already wishing for someone to shout "Sunog!" On one dramatic scene, Richard Gutierrez easily became a travesty. Apparently, acting for him meant delivering all the emoting to his eyebrows while adding papungay ng mata for cinematic effect. It was a gruesome punishment that was difficult to watch. When the characters of Richard and Angel finally kissed, the audience went into a kilig frenzy. Showing their well-coordinated operatic talent, they blurted out in chorus, "Aieeeee!" At that moment, I wish I had a water hose. For an hour and a half, the cinema became my torture chamber. After the movie was over, me and my then girlfriend had a dinner at a fancy restaurant (where the food was great by the way.) Asked why I was scowling as I ate, I sarcastically answered, "Di lang masarap ang pagkain."

Labeling Let The Love Begin as an excellent movie is like saying Madam Auring could still get pregnant. (Ironically, it is the top grossing film on the year it was released.) The movie is fundamentally designed for people who are easily entertained. When asked about the quality of what they saw, these are the very same people who would enthusiastically attest "Ang pogi ni Richard!" or "Ang ganda ni Angel!" instead of saying their input about the film. It is a movie where you can allow the neurons in your brain to take a vacation during its entire running time. After watching Let The Love Begin, I strongly pledged never to pollute my world again with any film or tv show that contains Richard Gutierrez's disturbing performance. As for my then girlfriend who dragged me to see Let The Love Begin, I'm just glad we have already broken up before she could coerce me to see another stupid movie.