Ten Regretful Things I Shall Never Do Again In 2012

Eat Street Food

I may sound like an elitist. But for the sake of my once mighty bowels, my gastronomic affair with tokneneng and other street foods has to stop. Suffering from two bouts of a ghastly acute food poisoning in 2011 alone was unimaginable. As a result of contaminated chow, I had to endure the tumultuous task of perpetually having my ass on the toilet bowl. Due to incontinence, there were instances when my underwear could even pass as a specimen for stool exam. The tokneneng may be cheap and sumptuous but my anus had enough.

Shave My Pubis

The beauty of a shaved pubis has its price: pruritus. A few days after going under the razor, the intense itch my bald crotch brings always becomes unbearable. While in public, I practically have to scratch them incognito. I'm a guy who loves to shave. I shave my mustache. I shave my chest. i shave my armpit. I shave my pubis. The only area I don't shave is my legs because it looks gay. With the discomfort I always have after shaving the area around my genitals, I'm thinking that maybe pubic hairs are not meant to be shaved.

Watch A Lady Gaga And Beyonce Music Video

For a real man, it takes a tremendous amount of bravery to listen to their songs. Moreover, it would be an amazing feat if he is able to withstand watching their music videos. With the sheer glitz and flamboyance, the videos of Lady Gaga and Beyonce serve only one purpose: to spread kabaklaan. To be exposed further to any materials coming from these two pro-gay warriors, I say it is enough.

Go To A Cheap Girlie Bar

Never again will my presence grace a second rate strip joint in Avenida. Aside from looking like chimays, the girls over there seem to have had suffered from all types of venereal disease. If only I could perform an internal examination at random, I could have discovered curd like discharges from their vagina. For health reasons, I shall never set foot again in a cheap girlie bar.

Join My Friends In A KTV Bar

The playlist of an average Filipino always has them: Bryan Adams, Michael Learns To Rock, air Supply, Barry Manilow and David Pomeranz. Most likely, someone from your group during videoke gimmick would belt out their songs. The mere thought of hearing such vile music and hating a friend who sings to them are enough reasons for me to turn down any invitation to go to a ktv bar.

Be Concerned With Comments And "Likes"

This year, I shall fully accept the fact that I cannot compete with an attractive girl in Facebook and blogosphere no matter how smart and socially relevant my post is. Whether it is her garment deficient photos or her frivolous self centered message, her posts would always commensurate with tons of reactions. After all, we live in a superficial world.

Stare At Breasts

... or any erotic part of a woman's anatomy. For fear of being mistaken as a pervert, I shall refrain from carrying out this precarious activity. It seems not everyone is amenable to my reason for doing so. That is, my fondness for looking at them is purely clinical.

Dream Of Having A Six Pack

Because it means a life devoid of food, t o entertain the idea of having a chiseled abdomen is out of the question for 2012. Instead, I shall boast of my one pack abs. I shall proudly declare my 34 inch waistline as the house that lechon built.

Watch Another Unfunny YouTube Video From A Pseudo Celebrity

The celebrity wanna be's who upload their boring skits and monologues. The childish adults who lip synch while contorting their faces. The jejemons who engage in a rap battle using their potty mouths. YouTube has become a haven for these untalented fame seekers. Though enjoyed by those who are easily amused, I find their videos not entertaining, at times annoying. To watch another material from these YouTube pseudo celebrities is like heeding to their greed for attention.

Blog About Kris Aquino

Her character and antics may still be intolerable. Yet I realized that my half a decade long black propaganda against Kris has become inversely proportional with her commercial success. Neither talented nor beautiful, the enigmatic spell she cast on millions of Filipinos is truly baffling. No matter what, they would buy what she sells. Therefore, I concede. In 2012, I shall never write anything about Kris Aquino... unless she reveals she contacted another STD.